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Tips on how to share news of a divorce

Depending on the couple and their social inclinations, the decision to marry may have been shouted from the rooftops or shared in a more intimate fashion. When it comes time to inform friends and family that the relationship will be ending in a divorce, it may take some time to determine how to do so. There are tips that might be useful to California residents who may be contemplating who to tell and how. 

One therapist, suggested that an individual sit down and compose his or her thoughts on paper beforehand. Ensuring that a statement conveys the heart of the issue without excessive details may be the best option in the beginning. The main focus of such an announcement is usually to seek support from others without directing animosity  toward one's spouse. It may be helpful to consider using a different approach for each group of individuals being notified. Telling close friends and family will likely require different phrasing than one would use for acquaintances or co-workers. 

If a long-term marriage is ending, then it may be beneficial to consider how the news will impact the greater community. Assuring these individuals that sides do not need to be taken may ease the minds of the affected community members. Likewise, though many take to social media for these types of life changes, doing so may draw unwanted comments or opinions. Furthermore, realizing that not everyone needs to be informed at the outset may relieve some of the pressure they are feeling.

Sharing the information about an impending divorce with teachers who have close contact with one's children can help parents be aware of any behavior problems that may occur. Having a united team around children might ease the process for the involved parties. Likewise, letting an employer know may increase the support one receives during this emotionally unsettling time. Every divorce is different and requires a unique approach. California residents who are beginning this stage in life may be best served by seeking the guidance of an experienced and understanding attorney.

Source:, "How to tell people you're getting a divorce", Alison Bowen, Jan. 28, 2018

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